Coronation Street, Manchester. Land of soap

Under the kitchen sink

Slinking tabby
Jazzing cornet
Washing strung
on rainy slate,
Ena Sharples down the Rovers
Dead snug.

But if you think it’s all
milk stout and drawn-on cobbles
you’re deluded.
So let me make this crystal clear.

Death by tram, spade, hairdryer
Smothered, bludgeoned, assaulted, stabbed

Three fires in the flamin’ underwear factory.
Weatherfield’s average week
As it ‘appens.
So watch it.

Creative journey

I’ve never sat through an episode of Corrie—or EastEnders, or Emmerdale—in my life, so this was an interesting one.

I began by studying the title sequences, 1960 to present. Corriepedia was brilliant. I noted snippets about the first Rovers being at 3/4 scale and the cast having to walk slowly to aid the illusion. My initial research centered on how the sets had migrated to different Manchester postcodes over the years: M3 3JE (Quay St) and M17 1FZ (Trafford Wharf). I followed on Google Street View.

Then I started looking at the big storylines. And once I’d searched “Coronation Street deaths”, that was it. We all know life insurance isn’t cheap in Weatherfield, but when you see the obituary list, it’s really funny.

I read some script samples and watched an episode. How could anyone live with this level of menace? A constant state of heightened drama which, supposedly, evolved to compete with Albert Square.

“You’re deluded” and “let me make this crystal clear” are from a famous speech by Peter Barlow, confronting Leanne about her infidelity. So I built this in, and decided to make the sestude a not-so-discreet warning about the dark underbelly of M10 9KC.