Written by Stephen Barnaby, illustrated by Polly Barnaby Inspired by The BFG
100 WORD NEWSFLASH: WINDS OF CHANGE
It appears that someone has been smuggling a mysterious downward-bubbling drink into diplomatic conferences and peace negotiations all around the world.
As a result, war and disagreements between nations have been wiped out completely as top politicians and army leaders blast themselves merrily into the air in a joyful outbreak of hilarity and what has become known as ‘whizzpopping’.
No one is sure who is responsible for this.
Efforts to find the catering manager from these events have revealed only two facts: that he is 900 feet tall and that he apparently regards recent occurrences as having been ‘frobscottlyumptious’.
Written by Mike Gogan, illustrated by Liam Gogan Inspired by James and the Giant Peach
This is the story of James Henry Trotter.
He’d two nasty aunts, each a real rotter.
Old Spiker and Sponge had put fun out of reach,
Until ‘Bang!’ Fun came along with a giant peach.
James wriggled inside the fruit so delicious,
To start him an adventure so luscilicious.
Inside the peach, he made strange friends indeed;
A grasshopper, a spider, a centipede.
Like the peach, all giants, worm and ladybird too,
They bounced, they floated, to the clouds they flew.
With sea gulls on strings, what fun these friends had.
Three cheers for James, now there’s a happy lad.
Written by Mavis Gulliver, illustrated by Bronagh Newman Inspired by The BFG
The BFG shook his head so hard that the breeze from his ears sent grandmamma flying.
“Most totally unpossible,” he said as he picked her up and popped her into his waistcoat pocket. “My dreams is for tiddly childers. They is not for oldy human beans with prunefuls of winkles and goldilocks as grey as bodgers’ bottoms.”
“Please,” she coaxed. “Just one phizzwizard for a box of peaches and a real live elephant.”
“You is tempting me,” said the BFG, “but no promises and no kiddling. I wants to see peaches and elefunts before I decides if they’s worth it.”
Written by Mandy Lee, illustrated by Oscar Mackenzie Inspired by Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
Oh, why aren’t I famed for my fabulous sweets,
like Wonka is known for his outlandish treats?
I know there’s a market for mud-covered chews,
or sour, hairy lollipops handmade from gnu.
And don’t forget green, skunky, trout-flavoured creams,
with snot-covered gum that, when bit, squirts a stream!
They’re brilliant, inventive and tasty, I swear,
but nobody listens while Wonka is there.
So I’m giving up sweets, going all fancy-pants,
to make Slugworth’s Fun Biscuits from roadkill and ants!
These brand new concoctions of protein-rich bugs,
will show them I’m not just some slurraping slug!
Written by Linda Cracknell, illustrated by Laura Codona, aged 11, patient at Royal Hospital for Sick Children, Edinburgh. Inspired by James and the Giant Peach
In my beetroot-coloured boots
I could form a ballet troupe
or a Barndance – do-si-do,
Bolero duos – quick-quick-slow.
Please don’t come – the floor’s complete
with my hundred-odd sweet feet.
There’s only forty-two?
So what! Look what they can do:
Breakdance or Bangra for the solos.
Boogalooing that’s divine.
I’m aiming for a personal best
to be the most girating pest
with heels that clickety-clack;
on my head my red Fez hat.
My Bellydance is quite a giggle
but awesomest? My Bigmarchwiggle.
Legs whirring briskly,
see me on Strictly!
Forty-two beautiful beetroot boot-feet
are going to the ball.
Written by Kirsten Irving, illustrated by Charlie Stitt Inspired by Matilda
History snags heroes in its spines. The tyrant-ticklers, the boldest of the jimminies. And every hero sees their comrade as ten times the hero; clanking with medals while they cobble together a mission. This is school, and a small girl can only do so much. Your overlord for this afternoon, and the seeming rest of your life, is your headteacher. She is a solid wall of loathing for you all; a pitiless, pebble-dashed municipal building. But, like every dictator, her habits will undo her.