Once I was who I used to be.
Kind, modest, demure, delightful. Amenable, accommodating. Pleasant, patient. So nice. So lovely. But so put-upon, so pliable. Servile, supine, simpering. Diffident, deferential. Base, bowing, scraping, quaking, flaky and kow-towing.
So, a sip of special grunchelpotion and…fizz-bubble, scubbletrouble… I became who I am.
My old self crrracklepackered to a cinder, and my new self in its place. Strong, certain, in control. In ze drrriving seat. Ven I say ‘jump’, zey jump out of their miserable skinz.
Zat’s better. So, so much better. I rrreccomend it. In fact, I rrrequire it.
Who’s viz me?