Written by Samm Short, illustrated by Phoebe Alexander-Davis
Inspired by Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
OFFICER’S LOG
Oompa Loompas Versus The People
FILED: 04.28.16
JUDGEMENT: Uncertain
Image 1: Rubbish Chute.
Defendant nods vigorously.
Image 2: Ms Salt, Falling Down Chute.
Defendant laughs hysterically. Stops. Puts hand into pocket and pops dark bean into mouth.
Image 3: The Accursed Oogletrumper.
Defendant gasps and puts head between legs. Requests for Defendant to stand up properly are refused until Judge apologises and promises not to show awful pictures again.
4:15pm
Immigration papers are requested. Defendant tosses a caterpillar over his shoulder and shrugs.
4:17pm
Man in hat at the back calls Blashphemoodle! and lobs a gobstopper at Judge.
