I’m no knight in shining armour
Not tall, not proud, not full of ardour.
I never asked to be that guy
The one they cheered to swillafy.
Never thought there’d come a day
I’d get my turn to make her pay.
I’m no hero in tights and cape
Not brave, not bold, not Iron Man shaped.
I never meant to scoff that cake,
The one The Trunchbull had Cook bake.
Never defied a grown-up before,
I’m so very easy to ignore.
I’m Bruce Bogtrotter
Round and plump.
A stammerer, a stutterer,
An invisible chump.
But, you know what?