The Cementa-Gum Blandy-Grippers Get the Grown-Ups

DahlWritten by Amanda Edmiston, illustrated by Allannah Edmiston
Inspired by Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

 

Elastiliciouscementa-tongue,
Gobbo-smatterbubble-gum,
Guzzletubelet-weenyanbig,
Plasti-coated-bellymajig.

Bubble-blowing day and night,
Secretly. Out of mum’s sight!
Swapping gum for organic-goo,
(apparently it’s good for you!)

Masticating, unperturbed,
Jaws expanding, it’s absurd:
Grown-ups banning chewing-gum.
(What’s mum know? Her waistline’s done!
Teeth jet-black, face indigo-blue,
clearly greens just make you poo…)

Chewing-gum-meals, that’s the way
For children to get five a day!
My long, thin dad bans TV
My mum yells: “Gum’s not for tea.”

Her downward-dog whilst blitzing fruits
His endless walks in hiking-boots.
All I want’s chewing-gum
Can’t they see their life’s NOT FUN.
Childhood’s just so hard
when you’re Scarlett Teavee-Beauregarde.

 

Read the feature story here.

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